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I love the exhiliaration i feel when i am 20 feet above ground with nothing but a string holding me up. I think i am depressed i cannot snap out of it. I had to leave my boyfriend's place today because i felt like i was going to fall apart. So I guess you're in conflict of exactly how "wrong" you want to be. You could not be achieving orgasm due to your phobia of masturbation, doing something you consider wrong. Which can lead over into the sexual part of your relationship, and in some way maybe making you feel ashamed of having sex, or guilty.
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